


you still linger within me

by taichi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Light Angst, M/M, Mentioned Hinata Shouyou, slight oihina, yeah i guess this is angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:15:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24288757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taichi/pseuds/taichi
Summary: 24 years old is how old Iwaizumi is now, 12 hours is the time difference between Japan and Argentina, 5 years is the time that has passed since he last saw Oikawa and 3 years is the time that has passed since they completely stopped talking to each other.Everything is so different now. They used to experience the warm together and now he's welcoming the cold. But he's still hoping and he'll be exactly where he left him.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 5
Kudos: 39





	you still linger within me

**Author's Note:**

> exactly this work is based on [la la lost you](https://open.spotify.com/track/5Htq8DDDN0Xce9MwqzAzui) by niki! also i dont recommend u to listen to the song while reading this bc i myself haven't tried that but if u want to do it then go ahead...

Night breeze, a sky full of stars and the moon is out. Iwaizumi is leaning on the balcony railing as he watched an empty street of the neighborhood he grew up in. Hands are holding onto an old volleyball. This old volleyball is the one he used to play with Oikawa back when they were still a child. Oikawa wanted to be a setter and Iwaizumi himself thought that spiking was so much fun, so Oikawa used to toss the ball for Iwaizumi to spike, up until they were in high school. But now they part ways, while Oikawa went to Argentina, continuing on volleyball, Iwaizumi stayed in Japan. Hands aren't touching the ball anymore, but instead, they touch pens and papers and people's hands — that's the perk of being a lawyer.

_you would know if you stayed,_  
_you would know if you put up a fight._

24 years old is how old Iwaizumi is now, 12 hours is the time difference between Japan and Argentina, 5 years is the time that has passed since he last saw Oikawa and 3 years is the time that has passed since they completely stopped talking to each other. Or should he say, broke up.

On Oikawa's first two years in Argentina, they still text, call, even video calling each other — talking about how frustrating majoring law in college is to Iwaizumi, dealing with papers here and there. They also talked about how hard Oikawa tried to adapt to the time difference for the seasons in Argentina (It was December and it's summer already in Argentina while usually, summer in Japan falls during June to August) and about the culture shock he's experiencing. They talk from specific things like that to random and dumb things. Well, Oikawa usually the ones who initiated the random and dumb things to talk to though. But regardless, it was so much fun. Them being miles away and 12 hours apart but still managed to talk, letting know how each other's doing, giving each other's supports, lending ears — basically giving each other's the love they needed, just like the old times when Oikawa was still in Japan.

Iwaizumi thought that time and places got nothing on love. Really.

But as time goes by, the less they talk. Time goes fast for Iwaizumi yet there are so many things on his plate. Being a college student while also being an intern in a law firm means more paperwork. While for Oikawa himself, time goes a little bit slower in Argentina than it is in Japan. With that, he got more time to practice and learn more about volleyball. And so, both of them becoming busier. It's hard for them to keep in touch. Though Iwaizumi still tried to talk to him, by texting him, asking him how things have been doing and all, but either Oikawa answered it in a few days or he didn't read it at all. They go from days to weeks to months without talking. Five months, to be exact and that's just how busy they are. Maybe.

Maybe.

Somewhen during those five months period of not talking, Iwaizumi learned that Oikawa visited Brazil. For what purpose, he didn't know. He didn't ask either. And apparently, it's not only Oikawa who went overseas. In Brazil, he met Hinata Shoyo. No one doesn't know about the selfie they took somewhere in Brazil beach. Iwaizumi is more an Instagram person, ( _well that's a result of Oikawa begging him to make an Instagram account_ ) but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a Twitter account _(though, no one knows that Iwaizumi have a Twitter_ _account_ ). Hinata is a Twitter person and he tweets a lot of stuff, including Oikawa's visit to Brazil. So Iwaizumi goes to his profile every day during that time. He just wanted to know how is Oikawa doing, since he seems as busy as Iwaizumi is. It's very sad when you have a boyfriend and instead of talking to him, you stalk someone else's social media to know about his well-being, right?

But Iwaizumi swear to God, all he wanted to do when he stalked Hinata's Twitter account was just to know how is his boyfriend's doing. But instead, what he got was Hinata uploaded a picture of Oikawa sticking his tongue out, sitting in bed with breakfast on his lap. They both definitely were in a hotel room. The question is, what is Hinata doing, at 7 A.M. in the morning, taking a picture of someone's boyfriend somewhere in a hotel room? Iwaizumi tried to come up with any positive thoughts regarding this but everything just won't make any sense. The only one that does was just the fact that his boyfriend slept with another person. But maybe Hinata didn't know that Oikawa was dating Iwaizumi, so when Oikawa pulled him by his arms, he got lured into him.

He never knew that Oikawa being 8 miles away and 12 hours apart from him would turn out to be like this. The next thing he knew was, tears have dropped from his eyes.

_summer's ending now and the nights are cooling down,_  
_remember last winter when we would drive around?_  
_—— pretty little white lies got me good,_  
_thought this was love, i was misunderstood._

"Iwa-chan, I don't think we can continue this anymore, don't you agree?" After all those five months they didn't talk, Oikawa called for the first time. No hellos, no flirtatious way to greet him, no _Iwa-chan!_ or anything. He just blurted those words from his mouth. It was August. Iwaizumi remembered it vividly. The season was about to change from summer to autumn and the weather was starting to get colder.

For all the times he wanted to text or call Oikawa but he didn't. He wanted to text him good morning, but it's night time already in Argentina, he was probably resting, sleeping. And for every time he wanted to text him good night, it's day time in Argentina. Oikawa would have just started his day. At that time, Iwaizumi realized one thing, which is the fact that he and Oikawa don't live under the same sky anymore.

They said love conquers anything. But the fact that Iwaizumi and Oikawa can't bring each other to do the smallest thing people in relationships do which is, talking, proves it wrong. Love doesn't conquer time and places. If it does, Oikawa would still greet him in a flirtatious way, Oikawa would still do cheesy pickup lines and Iwaizumi would always get disgusted by it, they would still be ranting about their daily lives, they would still be talking about random and dumb things Oikawa said and Oikawa wouldn't be having another person in his arms even for just one night. Or maybe it wasn't love after all?

_Are you doing well?_

_Are you finally fluent in Spanish?_

_I heard that you're in Club Atlético San Juan now? Congratulations._

_Did something happen in Brazil with Hinata?_

There were so many questions left unsaid. But from the sound of it, Oikawa just wanted to call Iwaizumi to break up with him. He didn't even bother to say hello, chitchatting about the weather or anything.

"I mean I've been thinking about how relationship needs to communicate, right? And we're not really doing it —"

_Not really doing it you said? And what about me texting you things only for you to answer it days later or left it unread or even not bothering to read them at all? To the point I thought I was disturbing you and I stopped texting you even about the smallest things._

"Also, apparently I got real busy here and I feel really bad for abandoning you, you know. Since I got many on my plate, I haven't taken the time to talk to you —"

_It's not only you, but I also got many on my plate too? I get busy too? But I still give some of my time to try to check on you. Because you're my lover._

"So I just think instead of hurting you any further, let's just end this." 

_You didn't even put up a fight. How is it that easy for you to say those words?_

"Iwa-chan, are you there?"

"Yeah," Iwaizumi answered. "Well, Tooru, you better not miss me." There are so many things he wanted to say, but he didn't. His mouth only managed to say those words.

_I hope you do, though._

"Even if I do, you're only a call away, right?" Oikawa laughed.

_Yeah, Tooru, I will always be here. So don't worry about it. I am only a call away. So call me every time you need me, you miss me._

"Bye, Tooru." Iwaizumi hung up the call, dropping the tears he's been holding back since the moment Oikawa's voice vibrated through his right ear, only to hear the words he least wanted to hear from him. The words he's so afraid to hear.

—

Spring. In their first year in high school when they were walking home after finished practicing volleyball at school, Iwaizumi confessed his feelings. The sun has set and the moon is out. Night spring breeze stroke their bodies. That time, Oikawa thought that Iwaizumi was joking, so he just laughed it off.

"I'm being serious here." Iwaizumi said while still walking, while Oikawa stopped his steps as well as his laughter.

To be honest, Iwaizumi only wanted to say about his feeling of Oikawa. _When you like someone, I think it's better to tell them how you feel. Something might change, something might not. And it might be good, might be not. But in the end, the point is to tell someone how you feel, and it's up to you whether you want them to know about it or not._ That was what Iwaizumi's mother said to him. So he did. He told his best friend that he liked him.

He just wanted Oikawa to know about his feelings. He never hoped for something to change. Everything can just stay the way it is right now and it wouldn't be a problem. But when Oikawa learned that Iwaizumi wasn't joking, he uttered the words Iwaizumi never expected.

"I'm fine with being your boyfriend," Oikawa said. "So, are we boyfriends now, Iwa-chan?"

And that's when they start dating. Frankly speaking, Iwaizumi is scared. So scared. Something has changed. Oikawa is not only his best friend but he's dating him now. He's also his boyfriend. What about later in the future? What if suddenly something happened and it forces them two to end their relationship? Everyone who knew their relationship says that it would be hard to imagine the two of them breaking up. Not that Iwaizumi want it to happen, but what if it does happen sometime in the future? Would he only lose his boyfriend, or would he lose his best friend too?

—

_feeling low on the low, driving through —_  
_if i'm honest, i'd call, but i'm trying to let go._  
_and i hope you're happy, living life in taxis,_  
_but you'll always have me, you'll always have me._

That was three years ago, the broke up.

Iwaizumi put down his volleyball, grabbed his car key, and off to drive around the city. Time goes fast for Iwaizumi, so he doesn't have time to dwell on his break up with Oikawa, instead, he continues living his life. He thought the hustle and bustle would help him forget about his painful few last months with Oikawa, but it's been three years and Oikawa still lingers in his mind. 

Oikawa went to a place where he could get what he wanted. Maybe if he was still in Japan he wouldn't get what he have right now. And Iwaizumi knows that very well. Oikawa can't be contained after all. All Iwaizumi wishes all this time is for Oikawa to remember to miss him. He's only one call away, but it's been three years and he hasn't received any single calls from him. Is it foolish to hope this much? For someone that has hurt you? Maybe yes, but regardless, Iwaizumi choose to understand the fact that Oikawa has hurt him in a way while standing still, restoring his worth, while feeling numb time after time.

Iwaizumi wanted to call Oikawa so bad. He wanted to hear Oikawa telling stories about Argentina, about everything he's been experiencing, Iwaizumi wanted Oikawa to call him in a flirtatious way, Iwaizumi wanted Oikawa to annoy him, Iwaizumi wants to hear his voice. But God knows if he does, he'll never able to let go of him.

And something hits Iwaizumi. The fact that there is nothing in Argentina that screams about him. Nothing about that new place reminds Oikawa of him. Maybe that's what happens when you go to new places, encounter new faces, and creating new memories. Suddenly you become someone new too. But all those memories they have spent together before he came to Argentina, does it vanish that easily? Or was it all this time Oikawa choose to not keep his memories with him so that he easily replaced them with new ones?

Everything is so different now. Every corner of Miyagi reminds him of Oikawa. They used to play volleyball in a park nearby to their houses, they used to stroll around a convenience store after club activity ends, they used to welcome every season together, they used to welcome the warmth of summer filled with the excitement of youth, they used to watch leaves as they fall to the ground, they used to give warmth to each other when winter comes, and they used to watch flowers blooming as spring comes, they used to do it all together.

_all my demons run wild,_  
_all my demons have your smile._

Iwaizumi stopped by at the park near his house. The same park where he used to play volleyball with Oikawa back when they were still a child. Especially in this place, brings back memories. Who was obsessed with volleyball in the first place? Was it him? Was it Oikawa? Maybe it was Oikawa.

Iwaizumi sat on the swing and moves it back and forth with his feet. Iwaizumi hates to admit the fact that it's been three years and he's still having a hard time accepting that he has now welcomed the cold — a strange feeling that lingers within him all this time. He knows that he's still hiding behind the shadows of his memories, thinking that he and Oikawa were still on the same page, but the truth is most likely that right now, he's the only one who felt more.

Iwaizumi covered his face with his palm.

_But I'm still hoping._

As he closed his eyes, everything went dark for a second, then, a wave of memories of him and Oikawa rushing inside his mind.

_I know it's impossible, but if you'd like to go back to where you used to be,_

"Iwa-chan!"

_I'll be here._

Oikawa is standing there. Just a few steps away from Iwaizumi. What is he doing here? Visiting family? Most likely that. He's a professional player and he lives in Argentina now. If anything that makes him go back to Japan, it's probably his family.

_I'll be exactly where you left me._

"What? 'The hell are you doing here?' is written all over your face right now, you know? Jeez, Iwa-chan, you're so dense. Can't I visit my best friend?"

**Author's Note:**

> and this??? is my second fic i wrote hahaha i cant believe this but I hope you enjoyed it i love u!!! im on [twitter](https://twitter.com/gimodero)! mwah <3


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